I was Facetiming with one of my friends the other day who was struggling to make a decision about the relationship she’s in and whether or not she is ready to take the next step. I told her, “just do it! Take the next step. Love with your whole heart until maybe one day you wake up and it doesn’t feel right anymore. Then call me and we’ll figure it out together, but while it feels good. Do it. Listen to your heart because not everything will always feel good. Nothing is cut and dry and we can talk ourselves out of the love we are being given because we think we don’t deserve it or because the love is so big it’s scary. Just dive in. Just love. Don’t ask so many questions because hypotheticals have never gotten me anywhere. Love has.”
My friend then said to me, “Of course this is so easy for you Chelsea. You do everything 110% and you love without thinking about what could happen in the future or the hurt you might face.” I had to laugh a little bit. I had never thought about it that way. I guess I do. I fall in love and then when I fall out of it I deal with it then. For someone who plans so dang much I guess I don’t think about the future all that much when it comes to love. Anticipating the fallout never made the fallout any easier for me. If I had known ahead of time that my Daddy was going to go to prison for two years, it wouldn’t have made his time there any easier for me by anticipating it.
When my, now husband, asked me to move in with him I remember going to my Daddy and asking him what he thought. We had only been together three months after all. I remember very clearly the conversation we had about this. “Well honey, your father and I moved in together 10 days after we met so I’m not exactly the advocate for waiting when something feels right. I would say just go for it. See what happens and just in case, have a moving company on speed dial.” He was telling me to just try it and see what happens and to know that there’s always a way out of anything should it go south.
I cannot make a wrong decision. That’s something my Dad taught me. He’s always told me when I’m struggling with a tough decision that, “whatever you decide is the right thing, but if something is not meant to be there’s no way to force it to happen and if something is meant to be there’s no way to stop it from happening.”
I live off of those words. To friends of mine who continuously try to make a relationship work that’s clearly past its prime I tell them, “if he or she’s the one there’s no way you’re not going to end up together in the end, but if they aren’t the one there’s no way you can force it to happen so better to let go and enjoy the ride and just love for as long as it feels good in your tummy and your heart.”