In pursuit of an uphill climb

I was really fortunate last weekend to have lunch with my cousin. Well, technically, she’s my cousin-in-law, but my family isn’t so into the whole in-law thing, so, she’s just my cousin. Okay, that’s totally beside the point…

Funnily enough in the past, we haven’t been that close. From the outside, we seem very different. In groups, she’s quiet and takes a backseat, and well, you can all imagine what I’m like in a group, but wallflower hasn’t ever been exactly how one might describe my personality.
As we sat down together and started discussing our mindset about life and creating and art we were totally surprised to find how shockingly similar we are. Like I’m talking crazy similar. Up until now, I had never spent much alone time with her and because of that, I hadn’t had the joy of hearing her amazing thoughts on the world.

We started discussing what happens when you make a big change in your life. And the more we talked about it, after covering topics like our mutual adoration for sushi, we discovered that we’d both come to so many of the same conclusions. When we decided to put out into the universe that we wanted a big change or we started working to create change in our lives we have encountered two kinds of people…

There are people that will come to us that have made the same changes as we have and tell us just how hard it is. How they’ve struggled and struggled and never been able to make it happen. They will also not be shy about telling us how much we’re going to struggle and likely fail. They will tell us not to do it and that it’s just better to stick with what we know because change is scary….and then we talked to other kinds of people. These other people also have made big shifts in their lives. I have decided to name these people The Jewels (for no reason other than that I love pretty things). These Jewels will tell us how amazing the change is. They will be able to talk about this change for hours and hours on end with positivity. They tell us how their lives have become something wholly different but in the most magical way. They hammer home how obsessed with this change they are. How the journey has been at times frustrating, disappointing, aggravating, sad, but that they wouldn’t have done anything differently because they have been fighting for the life they believe in and the life they deserve and they are proud of this sometimes easy, sometimes crazy-making belief that they can have what they want to achieve.

So we have two kinds of people here, the ones telling you how much your life is going to suck and the ones that are joyfully proclaiming from the rooftops. All of these people are working towards the same kinds of goals. They are all working day in and day out. They are endlessly giving into this creative urge; this need to pursue something they are meant for. But some of them are seeing their life as a daily struggle and some of them are seeing their life as a daily belief in something they are drawn towards. They are both probably hitting many of the same roadblocks. They are all likely pushing a boulder uphill at times, however, only some of them are enjoying the push.

Ever since I told people that I was going to have a blog or that I’m working on a book or that I dream of a career empowering people to believe in the beauty of life I have heard all kinds of messages. Many of them have told me things like, “it’s impossible for a first-time author to get published.” So many people have said, “a blog? Really?” Or, “yeah okay I guess I could see you as a speaker, but what are you an expert in?” And then there have been other people that say, “well, of course! This is what you’re meant to do!” And, “Oh my gosh, where can I read your writing?” And, “a book about your life? I totally believe that will be amazing.” So, I have a choice. I can choose to listen to the people that help, support and share my love for the work I’m doing or I can listen to the people that think I’m nuts for pursuing something that isn’t in my comfort zone. Do I think I will just magically get published without doing work? No. Do I know that I may have to self-publish and work my butt off to sell my book and spread my message? Absolutely.

I am realistic. I am aware enough to know that while I believe in fairy dust guiding the way, there are also going to be tough and frustrating days and that magic doesn’t always happen overnight, but at the end of all of this I am in pursuit of something I believe in and because I believe in it, I will succeed. You may think I’m crazy for deciding I will succeed, but I truly believe that’s the only way. I am succeeding because I am loving the journey. I told the universe that I want this, that I’m willing to work hard for this, that I want to create this and the universe has responded in magical ways. Things like one of my best friend’s mom’s starting her own literary agency and being willing to help me on my way totally out of the blue. I mean, if that isn’t fairy dust from the universe, I don’t know what is. Sometimes pursuit will look like the very perfect image of my planner and my matcha latte and sometimes pursuit will look more like this:

I am in constant pursuit. I dedicate myself to something I am learning about, not something that I’m already an expert in. I give myself to the universe and I choose very carefully whom I listen to. I have learned that it’s not about the number of people you surround yourself with, it’s about finding the Jewels that the universe creates and saying, yes, you are my people. You are my support, you are what my life is going to be made of and then it becomes about the journey of creation and enjoying the pushing of the boulder uphill at times. I mean damn, if I push this boulder long enough, I’m going to have some killer legs…and who doesn’t want killer legs?

Happy Tuesday my friends and cheers to the pursuit and choosing whom you surround yourself with so very carefully. xoxoox

PS In case you were wondering…no, I have not quit my day job. I am in pursuit, I am carving out time, but I am also interested in making my next mortgage payment and pursuit doesn’t always pay well.

  • I enjoyed our lunch, too. 3 thoughts:

    1) I like to replace the word “hard” with the word “challenging.” “Hard” implies giving up or struggling. “Challenge” sets you up to figure things out. I also recently replaced “I am a hard worker” with “I have a strong work ethic.”

    2) Just remember that doubters often have good intentions and want to protect you from potential problems that could come up.

    3) Don’t give up if you hit resistance. Call me. Rejections, creative blocks, self-doubt, procrastination, perfectionism spirals, etc. are often part of the creative process. You are not guaranteed to always have these things, but they come up sometimes. We gotta learn to make peace with them and that is when you call on the “jewels” who can see and remember your vision and help you get back onto your path. 🙂

  • Pursuit will pay eventually!!!! I promise!!! Even if you are not getting TONS of joy at your day job, just know that your daddy is, because he gets to see your beautiful smiling and inspiring face every day!!!! love, daddy

  • Well you KNOW that your Aunt Peggy believes in Fairies AND Fairy dust! I feel bad for those who don’t, but then that’s just me. I have always believed in you and I think your writing and insight is wonderful. I will be first in line to buy your book….AND killer legs are surely a great side effect ;-)PS I am glad you and Jen got together. She had told me that you were planning a lunch out together.